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 Post subject: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 8:01 am 
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Joined: October 16th, 2009, 9:51 am
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Location: Northern Indiana
Last night me and a buddy are playing an impromptu round after work, No one on the course to speak of, maybe 5 groups total. We breeze through the front nine in about 50 minutes. On the 12 hole, a short 125 par 3 we wait for a group of 5 to finish putting and hit our shots, I make a birdie my buddy makes an east tap in 3 so we weren't on the for more than 2-3 minutes. Naturally as we drive toward the 13th tee the group in front hasn't finished teeing off, to be expected. However the cart path going to the tee doubles back over a bridge to get to the 13th fairway. So we patiently wait on the other side of the bridge so as to not disturb anyone, assuming they'll let hit and play through as they have to be face to face with us after crossing the bridge. The first two carts purposely avoid eye contact and drive on down the fairway the last guy just waves as he goes by. Our 13th hole is the longest par 4 we have and so now it's clear they have no intention of letting anyone through. We wait... roughly 5 minutes. I see what I thought was everyone driving toward the green out of our range. Granted I was a little pissed but declined the offer by my buddy to hit into them. After I struck the ball I see one cart driving back towards where they were on their approach shots. My ball hangs in the air for about 5 seconds right in line with where there are now, fortunately my ball misses them flying past by 10 yards or more. I felt bad about it, as I just don't hit into someone for the purpose of spite. As we're driving up I told my buddy lets just go onto the the next hole and tee off. No words were spoken we just went about our business. As we teed off they weren't even on the green yet so we're not holding anyone up at all. My buddy who's a bit more spiteful than me doesn't return the flag to the hole in some effort to show his displeasure. The next hole some words were exchanged and I said look, hitting into you was completely unintentional but what the fuck? You can't let a twosome go by!? Their response oh we were going to... Really when? after you take 20 minutes to execute your 25 combined shots.

I lost sleep over it last night, I am not all that confrontational and normally I am not in any hurry to play golf, I wasn't last night. I just felt like these guys all just flipped us off and went about their merry way and I just about lost it. I was in that fight or flight mode where you get a little shaky and want to punch something. Being inconsiderate is something that pushes my buttons. I shouldn't expect everyone to be as considerate as I am on the golf course, but damn that got under my skin and I am still upset with myself for how I handled it. Lesson learned. Out.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 9:16 am 
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I have become concerned in recent years that confrontation will lead to someone getting shot no matter where it happens. People in general don't feel the need to be courteous of others.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 12:50 pm 
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Joined: October 13th, 2009, 12:41 pm
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I'd agree that as a 5 they should have let you straight through but at the same time how would they know how quick you were to that point.
But as we know people tend not to look outside thier own game


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 2:02 pm 
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Joined: October 19th, 2009, 8:52 am
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Location: Central Valley, CA
ASK3L wrote:
I'd agree that as a 5 they should have let you straight through but at the same time how would they know how quick you were to that point.
But as we know people tend not to look outside thier own game


If they were paying attention even a little bit, they would have known since they took no time at all to finish the par 3...

They should have let you through, no doubt. By not letting you through, they put everyone in an awkward spot. You guys going around them should not have pissed anyone off, but I agree that your buddy should not have left the flag out of the hole either, what does that prove anyway?


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 2:50 pm 
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Joined: October 16th, 2009, 9:51 am
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Location: Northern Indiana
Proved nothing but I thought it was funny and a little poke in the eye for being inconsiderate. People suck sometimes, shit I had an older get mad at me for letting them hit onto the green, I was just practicing by myself and wanted to chip around the green, they never waited a second, I picked up my 3 balls waved them on, the old man ask me what i thought I was doing. I said utilizing my membership and enjoying the evening, he scoffed and went on. Why?! WTF?


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 26th, 2013, 3:24 pm 
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ND Fan wrote:
Proved nothing but I thought it was funny and a little poke in the eye for being inconsiderate. People suck sometimes, shit I had an older get mad at me for letting them hit onto the green, I was just practicing by myself and wanted to chip around the green, they never waited a second, I picked up my 3 balls waved them on, the old man ask me what i thought I was doing. I said utilizing my membership and enjoying the evening, he scoffed and went on. Why?! WTF?

I really believe our society has become less considerate of others. People need to lighten up and chill.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 27th, 2013, 11:52 am 
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I've been astounded by the lack of respect people have for others on the course. It gets worse all the time.
Yesterday, I was playing 18 and making the turn. All play started on #10 yesterday. There's a foursome writing their own rules and going to tee off in front of me on #1. I must have given them one disgusted look, as they stopped in their tracks and let me tee off in front of them. They had a boom box blaring in their cart, something I am seeing almost every time I golf now, either on the cart, or on the range. (There was a guy blaring country music one day at the range. Uggh.) So then they laughed about as hard as they could in my backswing and I just flub it. "Oh sorry." I hit another. That was crap. I guess the neon Mickey Mouse t-shirt on the one guy was a tipoff. They played fast, but they hardly took any time on any shot to the point of comedy. They were right on my tail and hit into me on their drive on #2, my 11th hole. "Sorry." Again. In the course of two holes, I was ready to chew them out. I walked in 2:45 and shot 74. It wasn't like I was slow. They kept yelling so loud every hole, to the point of it being off-putting in your backswing sometimes from a pretty good distance. (I went there during the week, as the "quality" of people and playing abiliteis on this otherwise very fun course makes for 5+ hour rounds and "trying" experiences.)

Almost got into a fist fight with a 50-something at the range a couple weeks ago. BIG guy. Swing speed radar thing kept "beeping" every 5 seconds. Super annoying like a cell that needed answering. It was ugly. I asked him politely if he could silence it, and it set off a rage in him I certainly didn't expect. His wife was embarrassed at her husband and left for the car. All this electronic shit on the course can go away. If it makes noise, leave it home.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 27th, 2013, 10:28 pm 
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I was teeing off on the 9th hole today. In the middle of my swing I caught movement and tried to stop but hit an ugly shot as I couldn't. There was a cart driving down the left side of my fairway (hole 1) and a cart driving on the right side (hole 8). I almost lost it. Both carts had 20ish assclowns in them.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 28th, 2013, 10:41 am 
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Location: Central Valley, CA
slymer58 wrote:
I was teeing off on the 9th hole today. In the middle of my swing I caught movement and tried to stop but hit an ugly shot as I couldn't. There was a cart driving down the left side of my fairway (hole 1) and a cart driving on the right side (hole 8). I almost lost it. Both carts had 20ish assclowns in them.


If they were not playing the hole you were starting play on (but hit into it) then that's on them to make sure they don't get hit. I know that's not the point as it was a visual thing that messed you up, but still.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 29th, 2013, 8:50 pm 
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Interesting post & comments THEY were wrong not to let u play through period ...............................

DIVOTS As far as loud music ETC That is time 2 call the pro shop A good PGA pro will not allow that on his turf.

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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 29th, 2013, 9:05 pm 
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GO4IT wrote:
Interesting post & comments THEY were wrong not to let u play through period ...............................

DIVOTS As far as loud music ETC That is time 2 call the pro shop A good PGA pro will not allow that on his turf.


But at the same time, they don't want to turn business away... It's a fine line.


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 30th, 2013, 11:02 am 
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Joined: October 16th, 2009, 9:51 am
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Location: Northern Indiana
I guess this isn't going to end.... :headbang:

I spoke with one of the guys because I knew him well and we always got along. There was no swearing or shouting just mutual apology and move on. I was informed then that one of their guest wrote a letter to our club trustees. One of which is my boss and has known me for 11 years.



This is the letter... names redacted.

I am a former member of CCCC and was recently (9/25) playing a round of golf at your beautiful golf course with 2 current members, myself and 2 other non-members. We were playing a 5some at 3:00 on a Wednesday, we were having a fantastic time until hole number 13. There was a 2some on 12 that we were going to let play through on the next hole because we had all ready teed off on 13. We were in the fairway when a ball lands directly behind me with no warning. The 2some then skips 13 and goes ahead of us to 14, which is no issue besides they did not even acknowledge the fact they about hit me. ----- confronted one of the two coming down 15 and the comment was made about hitting into us " In retrospect, I'm glad I did". It's bad enough the actions of these 2, but when you find out that one is the Club Champion ----- and the other was ------. And to top it off when we reached the number 14 green they left the flag out on the ground, and numerous flags leaning the rest of the way in. I would expect better behavior out of my members, not to mention the club champion. I feel sorry for ----- and ------, who brought 3 guests to your beautiful establishment and to have 2 well known members of your course act so juvenile. Thank you for your time and I hope other guests are not treated this way at your course. Respectfully Marc






this was my response...

Marc,

Let me start by saying, I apologize for the unintentional near miss on 13. Leaving the flag out on 14 was completely intentional and however juvenile was simply a message. Your group was provided an ideal opportunity to allow a twosome to play through as we waited adjacent to the tee on the other side of the bridge for your last two players to tee off. We waited on the other side of the bridge because we didn't wish to disturb your group as they were teeing off. We assumed that in the course of normal considerate play a fivesome would not simply drive by a twosome leaving the tee box on their way down the fairway. I was surprised by this but went ahead and waited 6-8 minutes on the tee for your group to clear. Your group of three carts, two in the right side of the fairway and one in the left rough. Two of the carts proceeded down the fairway after everyone had hit their shots, or so I thought. I bent over placed my tee in the ground and looked at my typical target on that hole which is the right side 150 yard marker and hit my tee shot. I pulled that shot slightly left and while it was in the air I then noticed that one of your carts. at least 40-60 yards behind the other two had not moved. At that point I had no idea if my ball hit close or well behind as your cart was beyond the trees at the corner. That was my fault, I would never intentionally hit into anyone, that's a dangerous situation I would not want be on the wrong side of. When Brian and I spoke between 15 and 14 or as you put it our "confrontation". He said " "Why did you hit into us?" My response " Brian, I am sorry that was completely unintentional, I am glad no one was hit, but in retrospect I was OK with it. Sure that was an asshole response and in the moment I am not surprised I said that. From our perspective it was clear to us your group had no intention of letting anyone play through, the sole reason why we picked up our tee shots on 13 and truncated our round. You embellished your story with "numerous leaning flags" and saying that I said "I was glad I did it.". There were no "leaning flags" and I certainly wasn't glad I almost hurt someone for any reason. There was no screaming or even raised voices, no profanity by either side.

Playing a fivesome even at a private club should be considered a privileged, I have done it a few times in my 9 years at CCCC but I am aware that the privilege should come with an obligation to other golfers, especially a twosome early in the evening on a weekday in the midst of a virtually empty golf course. Your group drove right past us, within 15 feet, no eye contact, no "hey fellas". Saying that you intended to let us play through after that and only after you take 20-25 minutes to play the longest par four on the course is a little hard to believe. I wasn't willing to hope that 20 minutes later you won't again pass up the opportunity to do the right thing. That's why we skipped ahead to 14 and on that green, in that moment, I thought one inconsideration deserved another. I regret that. I know Brian ----, I like Brian ---- and I was embarrassed. This bothered me everyday since. I spoke personally with Brian on Friday and we're good. I am reaching out to you because you felt this incident was significant enough to write a letter to the trustees. I am sorry if this effected your enjoyment of our club. I simply wanted to clear up some of the details from my perspective. If asked about this, which I am sure I will be, I will refer to this recount of events as honestly as I can.






Sometimes my filter isn't working right and most of the time my writing comes across as too direct. Was I out of line here? I know leaving the flag out was pretty childish but I can't say I regret it, I looked at that as a justifiable little poke in the eye to group who apparently couldn't be bothered by letting a twosome go through and interrupt their day by 3-5 minutes. I probably won't ever do something like again but damn!? Just curious what you guys thought. From my perspective I thought I was fair, honest and to the point. I know there won't be any ramifications on my end as I already spoke to my boss and his response was a little less subtle than mine " Fuck those guys, ---- is an asshole, don't worry about it."


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 30th, 2013, 11:55 am 
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Some people you just can't reach...


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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 30th, 2013, 2:11 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: I get it... I can be an asshole, but...
PostPosted: September 30th, 2013, 2:41 pm 
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Location: Central Valley, CA
There are always two sides to a story. Based on what he wrote and what you wrote, I would side with you.

IF they had the intention of letting you play through one hole later, they should have stated that as they were leaving the tee box. Since they didn't, you had no reason to think they would let you play through. Simply put, they had the chance to do the right thing and chose not to.


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